Why We Still Struggle With Body Image (and What to Do on the Hard Days)

It was during high school that I started to feel self-conscious about how I looked. I remember someone saying my legs looked like chicken drumsticks — just a throwaway comment, probably forgotten by them the next day, but it stuck with me for years.

At the time, I was also doing competitive cheerleading. That meant short skirts, crop tops, and lots of exposed skin. The spotlight had a way of making you feel like your body had to look a certain way—lean, toned, perfectly proportioned.

Through my twenties, my relationship with my body ebbed and flowed. There were seasons when I felt fine, even confident. But there were also seasons when I didn’t. When I let the pressure to be smaller or fitter creep in. I underate. I overtrained. And even now, as I write this, I’m still healing from that mindset. Still learning that how I feel about my body doesn’t determine my worth.

So many of us feel this. And what I want to say is: it’s not your fault.

The History Behind Body Image Struggles

For millennial women especially, we’ve grown up under a tidal wave of messaging about how we should look.

• The size-zero obsession of the ’90s.

• The low-rise jeans and airbrushed magazine covers of the 2000s.

• The early Instagram era of “fitspo” and filtered selfies.

• The wellness aesthetic that, if we’re honest, often just rebrands the same body standards in activewear and green smoothies.

Add to that what we’ve absorbed from media, family, school environments, sports, and now the endless scroll of social media, and it makes sense. Of course, we feel like we need to be smaller, leaner, and more toned. Of course, we’ve internalised the belief that we need to look good to feel good, to be accepted, to be seen.

When One Insecurity Touches Everything

The hardest part? When you don’t feel confident in one area—especially your body — it leaks into every other part of your life.

You might:

• Pull back from social events.

• Doubt yourself at work.

• Avoid intimacy or connection with others.

• Overthink food, movement, and/or how you dress.

We shrink ourselves mentally and emotionally when we’re trying so hard to shrink ourselves physically.

What to Do on a Bad Body Image Day

Some days, it just hits. You catch your reflection and don’t like what you see. Clothes feel tight. Your inner critic is loud. It’s hard to focus on anything else.

Here are a few grounding practices that have helped me on those days:

1. Come Back to the Present

Place your feet on the ground. Breathe slowly. Notice how your body feels, not how it looks. Name five things you can feel or hear to bring you back to now.

2. Speak Kindly to Yourself

Your inner critic might be loud. Try countering it with something gentle to reframe your thoughts and break the cycle:

• “This is a hard moment, but I’m allowed to feel this way.”

• “My body is not a problem to be fixed.”

3. Wear Something That Feels Safe And Comfortable

Not stylish. Not “flattering.” Just safe and comfortable. Something soft, something that gives you space to breathe.

4. Move Gently

Take a walk. Stretch. Dance. Do something that helps you feel into your body rather than escape it. Nourish not punish.

5. Limit Mirror and Social Media Time

It’s okay to not look in the mirror or scroll through Instagram when you’re not in a good headspace. Protect your peace.

6. Connect With Someone Safe

Talk to a friend. Hug your dog. Be around someone who reminds you that you are deeply valued as you are.

How to Heal Body Image Over Time

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not linear. Some days you’ll feel strong. Other days, not so much. But you can start to build a softer, more respectful relationship with your body, one thought at a time.

1. Curate Your Online Space

Unfollow anything that triggers comparison. Fill your feed with real, diverse, non-edited bodies. I know it is hard, that algorithm is damn good, as soon as you feel a like ick: mute, unfollow, hide.

2. Practice Body Neutrality

You don’t need to love your thighs. Can you just accept them for what they are? Can you thank them for carrying you through your day? Or for walking up the street?

3. Challenge Old Rules And Beliefs

Write down the food, body, or beauty “rules” and “beliefs” you’ve lived by. Ask yourself: Where did these come from? Do I still want to believe them?

4. Focus on How You Feel, Not How You Look

What gives you energy? What makes you feel strong, creative, playful, or peaceful? Let that guide how you eat, move, and care for yourself. Your intuition will tell you a lot.

5. Reconnect With Your Values

Your worth is rooted in so much more than your appearance. Who are you when no one’s watching? What matters most to you?

On the Days It Still Feels Heavy

I still have days when I feel uncomfortable in my body. Days when the old thoughts creep in. But now, I meet those moments with more softness. More compassion. More space to just be.

If today is one of those days for you, I want to invite you to try this:

Place your hand on your chest or your belly. Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths. Then say to yourself:

“I don’t have to love how I look to be kind to myself today.”

“I’m allowed to take up space.”

This is the work. The slow, steady unlearning and reframing. The gentle remembering of who you are — beyond what you think you see in your reflection.

Let’s Ground Together

Next time you’re having a hard body image day, come back to this post. Try one of the grounding practices. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you love.

You are not your appearance. You are not broken. You are enough.

What helps you on the hard days? I’d love to hear. Drop a comment below or send this post to a friend who might need this reminder today.

With love and balance, my Friends x